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Klonopin withdrawal has ruined my life so far

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Klonopin withdrawal has ruined my life so far

Postby Karina » Thu Mar 21, 2013 11:19 pm

I am about 25 days out on my withdrawal. I had a really bad day yesterday then I thought things were better in a way today. I live alone and have not gone to a grocery store for weeks. Now I am out of almost everything. My refrigerator looks completely empty. Can't make a meal off condiments. I tried to talk to someone about my satellite tv and got so upset that I just ended the conversation. I have been crying, which is not normal for me. It seems I am paralyzed. My grandson's birthday is tomorrow and I have not gone out to buy a birthday gift. I am getting super frustrated with it all. It is hard to feel like anyone cares. Boo hoo! My son has offered to go for me, but it does not seem sincere and then I don't hear from him for days. I am not trying to play the martyr here, I just seem to pile the anxiety on top of anxiety. I feel like I look like someone who has been strung out on heroin for weeks, but my son assured me I don't. I am beginning to not care how I look.

This whole thing is quite scary to me. At least today I was able to walk to the mailbox! Today it has come down to being completely out of groceries, being upset about that and crying. Being ridiculously pitiful. Geez. Enough is enough. Unfortunately I have not got a understanding doctor. Both my medical and psych doctor told me that there was nothing that they could do for me and nothing I could take. I am taking some Vistaril that helped me sleep better last night, otherwise it makes you feel more strange and dizzy. I know there are other drugs, but I do not want to take anything that could have some repercussions with them. I really got angry with both doctors for not helping me and being rude on top of it.

I guess I am venting here. I feel totally crazy and like I am about to lose it completely! Like have a psychotic break. Maybe if that happened at least I would not be aware of it and all this discomfort. What a mess I am.

Reading about people's symptoms lasting 2 1/2 years here is rather scary. I told my psych doc that I had read that people had these symptoms for months or years and she told me that was not possible!??! Why would she lie or is she misinformed? Plus she gave me a nasty attitude about it. This lack of empathy I am getting does not help. Knowing that after 4 doctors refused to help is not reassuring. I truly don't understand.

Anyone that can read this and be objective please tell me your thoughts. I want this to be over.

Karina
On benzos off and on since age 23. Last on klonopin 1 mg three times a day for 19 years, taken off cold turkey by doctor on 2/25/13. Presently going through withdrawal.
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Re: Klonopin withdrawal has ruined my life so far

Postby eliza » Thu Mar 21, 2013 11:42 pm

Karina,

Welcome to BW our small benzo support group. We have a good library and articles on benzo withdrawal, coping strategies and symptom managements. I'm sorry you're suffering so but there are lots of doctors who do not believe in benzo w/d for whatever reason. Why did your doctor take you cold turkey of your benzo?? Three mgs of Klonopin a day is a lot and potentially dangerous to be stopped so suddenly. Surely the doctor knew enough to know he/she might be endangering your health? There are certain meds that can ease benzo w/d and some of our members are on them. Can you find a sympathetic benzo wise physician??

Benzo w/d can be hard and produce unbelievable symptoms that make anyone think the world has turned upside down. I know what you mean by you feel like you're having a psychotic break because I developed withdrawal induced irrational fears, insomnia, panic and depersonalization but they went away. Visteril can be good for sleep and relaxation and some of take OTC meds like Benadryl or Unisom for sleep.

Please don't read the online horror stories because they make you worst and when we're having withdrawal things seem to scare us more.

Is your son understanding and can go get your groceries?? If he is please ask him to help and to accompany to any future doctor appointment because this makes the doc listen better. I"m just appalled you were taken off your klonopin like this. I've found docs don't get the fact that benzos can cause withdrawal and then not offer to help in some way is scarey for all of us.

We're here to listen and please feel free to vent all you want.

Eliza
Tapered from 60 mg Dalmane (prescribed for insomnia). Benzo Free for two years. My comments/opinions are not meant as medical advise. Always consult your physician.
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Re: Klonopin withdrawal has ruined my life so far

Postby Karina » Fri Mar 22, 2013 12:14 am

Thanks Eliza.

Yes I was appalled also at the doctor who took me off klonipin in a hospital, because he did that before he ever laid eyes on me! I had gone in voluntarily to get help with my depression meds, I did some drinking and called EMS to get in. So I was wrongly committed to this nightmare treatment center that you could see in a horror movie. He was a joke, and being a nurse myself (which he knew) I knew that it was dangerous what he was doing to me, but I had no way of getting out of there. No one liked him there and he ran the whole hospital. I wrote up a complaint about my treament there which included him, and then when he found out, he came and out of the blue threatened to report ME for trying to obtain klonopin illegally and doctor shopping, which was NOT true. That shook me up, I know he wanted to scare me into not reported his bad behavior as a doctor. The social worker turned on me too, so I did suffer repercussions for making a complaint which is like ancient bad practice. I still don't know if he was going to report me.

Being taken off cold turkey the first day was so horrible, my blood pressure sky rocketed and I truly felt like I was going to have a stroke. Knowing too much is bad too. So I did get Librium and propranolol for my BP.

I have hinted enough and told both my sons that I have not been able to drive to the grocery store and they know that I am out of everything. I don't want to keep asking. And I know I am acting cranky and nuts. :(

Karina.
On benzos off and on since age 23. Last on klonopin 1 mg three times a day for 19 years, taken off cold turkey by doctor on 2/25/13. Presently going through withdrawal.
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Re: Klonopin withdrawal has ruined my life so far

Postby Nora » Fri Mar 22, 2013 12:20 am

Karina, you have to have food. Your withdrawal will be so much worse if you don't take care of yourself. Please call one of your children and explain to them that you are unable to get to the store because you are ill, and ask them to help you get some food in the house.

Don't worry about venting here. That's what we're for.
1 mg Lorazepam at night, for 14 years.
Dec 2012 - Began taper
April 9/2013 - Done! Insomnia under control using supplements and exercise.

My comments here are my personal opinions based on experience and are not offered, and should not be construed, as medical advice. Always consult with your doctor before considering a change in medications or supplements.
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Re: Klonopin withdrawal has ruined my life so far

Postby Karina » Fri Mar 22, 2013 12:26 am

Hi Nora,

I know I need food. I will call him. You are right, not having the right nutrition has not helped. I am diabetic too, I guess I will get something when it is desperate. Thanks for replying.
On benzos off and on since age 23. Last on klonopin 1 mg three times a day for 19 years, taken off cold turkey by doctor on 2/25/13. Presently going through withdrawal.
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Re: Klonopin withdrawal has ruined my life so far

Postby lorelais » Fri Mar 22, 2013 1:27 am

Hi Karina,

I'm very new to this site and I'm just new to coming off of the Klonopin too. I can't offer much in the way of advice but I'll listen and I have had many of the same symptoms. The crying over every little thing is what I'm going through now. I was feeling like there was nothing at all that could ever make me feel better. It was so hard but I reached out to my best friend from grade school. And my sister-in-law (we are very close) also helped.

I'm still very touchy and weepy but I keep coming on here to vent. The people on this site are awful nice and always try to answer.

I dropped off a larger does (nowhere near as large as you were on) too and now I can't even take a half because it actually causes panic attacks. Sorry I'm blathering.

I just want you to know I'm pulling for you.
Last clonazepam March 3, 2013 C/T from .5mg after slow taper off of 1 mg.
Ambien 10mg (next to go)
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Re: Klonopin withdrawal has ruined my life so far

Postby eliza » Fri Mar 22, 2013 2:16 am

Karina,

The whole doctor rules the roost situation issue is apparent and he knew he was in charge cause you were inpatient. Do you have any doctor now you could see?? I'm truly sorry you're in this predicament. I only hope one could help you ease the symptoms with certain meds other forum members said worked for them. Where I live you can order groceries by phone or online from certain stores and they're delivered?? Check it out, seriously.

Eliza
Tapered from 60 mg Dalmane (prescribed for insomnia). Benzo Free for two years. My comments/opinions are not meant as medical advise. Always consult your physician.
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Re: Klonopin withdrawal has ruined my life so far

Postby Karina » Fri Mar 22, 2013 3:01 am

Lorelais,

Thanks for writing. I did not think my doses were that high, but I guess to take it so long for so long is what has hurt me. However any benzo withdrawal is bad. My friend told me she went through this and then Valium withdrawal which was not as bad as the "K". I know people that are on 2 mg 4 times a day! I was on 4 mg a day for a while. Yuk. I regret every pill I ever took. I think this is mother natures way of retaliating! I was feeling pretty well early today, but tonight is kind of yucky. I think I am getting used to feeling yucky. I am glad to hear that the crying happens with the withdrawal, I was afraid it was from the anti-depressant withdrawal. I guess I am going off both at the same time. How long have you been off the med? My main concern is how long is this going to take. I know there is probably some other drug that would help the transition, obviously I have some narrow minded and not so bright MD's. Feel free to message me. I look forward to getting to know you and others here. I have made some real life friends this way, even if we only talk on the phone! Take care.
On benzos off and on since age 23. Last on klonopin 1 mg three times a day for 19 years, taken off cold turkey by doctor on 2/25/13. Presently going through withdrawal.
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Re: Klonopin withdrawal has ruined my life so far

Postby Karina » Fri Mar 22, 2013 3:13 am

Eliza,

I don't live in a real small town, but it is rural enough to not offer grocery delivery. I am not sure of the population but I know it was about 500,00. That would be awesome right now. I have had to order food, like pizza and chinese. That is all that is available to get delivered. Stinks huh?

Talking about that doctor, I would love to expose him and free the world of this man who I think is evil and crazy too. Mental health patients do not deserve to be treated this way and he should be shut down. Do I have the resources, monetarily and emotionally to do this? No. I wish that someone would. The hospital staff is also horrible. There was definite racial discrimination there. I do not know how the nasty place ever passes a DHEC investigation. The way that social worker reacted makes you wonder if they are not all in on it! I did make the comment to her that I think that doctor is committing medicare fraud, so I touched a nerve. It makes me really angry to think about it.

It may seem incredible to believe, but I am court ordered to this mental health center for a year, 6 months more to go. The doctor there turned out to be a real B and was mean to me, like I said would not give me anything for this and said that withdrawal symptoms only last 10 days??? Do they think I am stupid. Seriously. Mental health care in this state is hideous. I am not from this state, so I am not so proud of it. I have seen much better treatment in another state.

I was going to message you Eliza but I think I am not allowed to do that yet here.

Take care and thanks again.
On benzos off and on since age 23. Last on klonopin 1 mg three times a day for 19 years, taken off cold turkey by doctor on 2/25/13. Presently going through withdrawal.
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Re: Klonopin withdrawal has ruined my life so far

Postby saltlick » Fri Mar 22, 2013 3:43 am

I think that if you are feeling bad symptoms, that no Dr. has the right to tell you thats impossible. Who cares if its possible? The point is they are suppose to be providing medical care to you for a crap load of money. Whether what your feeling is real or not (and it is real) shouldnt be thier concern. They should treat the symptoms you are having because they are suppose to be medical professionals. I work for a hospital system too, and deal with Drs all day. I know how most of them are.
Started out April 21st 2012 @ .5 Xanax for sleep once a night turned into 1.5- 4 MG xanax at night within 3 months! Tried to taper off Xanax, couldn't seem to taper off even the smallest amount.

Crossed over to 30MG Valium for tapering on 07/20/12
Took last .5 as of 8/15/13

Jesus what a ride......IM DONE!!!

“Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.” -Bruce Lee
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